Four years on LDN

Four years today. How time flies, eh? The LDN for CFS/ME "scene" is quite different now than when I started. At the time I didn't know anyone else who was taking it and most CFS/ME patients had never heard of it. Now probably half of the people I know are taking it or at least have tried it, including dozens of Finns (I recently wrote this article, but after writing it there have been many new cases). My doctor is prescribing it for almost all of his CFS/ME patients now. I'll have to pressure him about writing a case series or at least a letter to a medical journal soon - trust me, I have tried that before and he always promises to do it some time.

I am now living in the Netherlands. I had some trouble finding a doctor to prescribe me more piracetam and LDN, but finally succeeded some time ago. Turns out the pharmacy even stocks LDN tablets! The downside is that they're very expensive - over 40 euros a month, which is more than twice the Finnish price. My insurance did not want to cover it (in Finland it was covered 42%, though of course not any longer, but it's still way cheaper). So it looks like I will still be getting my LDN from Finland, after all. Sigh.

After years on 4.5 mg LDN capsules, now that I had these 1.5 mg tablets I decided to try dosing them twice a day, as my doctor usually prescribes it these days, 1.5 mg in the morning and 3 mg in the evening. The first day I felt better than usual, but after that I have noticed no difference, so I'll be switching back to 4.5 mg at bedtime soon.

I am still struggling with hypopituitarism. In Finland I was written a referral to an endocrinologist, but never got to see one (because Finnish "health" "care" is wonderful like that). Here I got to see one, once, but she was clueless, so it was pretty much useless. My current hormonal supplements include taking hydrocortisone in four doses, 7-2-2-2 mg at about 8 AM, 3-4 PM, bedtime and 4-6 AM, and 75 mcg thyroxin (which has made very little difference, though I should probably be taking a little more) and 15 mg DHEA.

Anyway, I shouldn't be complaining, as the last year has been incredible. Besides my CFS/ME book being published in Finnish, I've signed three(!) book deals, one of which is a medical book for which I also got a grant and one is my first novel, also about chronic illness/disability, which will be out in a few weeks. I was a speaker at two LDN conferences, where I met some really wonderful people. I got married and moved to the country where I want to live. I am very grateful I can do this.

One interesting thing that happened lately is that my new doctor diagnosed me with whiplash (vertebrae C5 and C7, I think, were misaligned). I have never been in a car accident nor do I have any neck symptoms and only quite rarely headaches, which I have connected with my TMJ problems, but he said I may have had it since childhood. He realigned the vertebrae and I felt quite terrible for a week, but after that I have felt slightly better. No significant improvement though, but it was worth a try.

I am currently experimenting with some methylation boosting supplements, but it's difficult to judge the effects yet. So far it seems like 400 mcg megafolin makes me sleep too deep (had to discontinue it as couldn't afford that at the time), ~375 mg betaine/TMG makes me extremely sleepy during the day (-"-), 2 mg methyl-B12 makes me feel slightly better, but causes slight nausea and early morning sleeping problems.

Three years later

Hard to believe I've been on LDN three years today. I can still remember the excitement of getting the prescription, and of course the excitement of getting better. I can't really remember what it was like being as sick as I was before starting LDN - I remember it on "fact-like basis", like "If I did that, the consequences were like this" but not really what it was like. And that's good. Hopefully I will never be that ill again.

In the last year I've deteriorated quite a bit due to my hypopituitarism getting a lot worse. I am likely severely deficient in all hormones now, but I can't get see an endocrinologist, get tested or have treatment for most of the deficiencies. Especially the growth hormone deficiency has been quite gruesome (I look like a creature from a horror movie these days), and the adrenal insufficiency has almost ended me up in the hospital about 100 times.

It's hard to know what's hypopituitarism and what's CFS/ME, but I probably wouldn't suffer much at all from CFS/ME if the hormonal deficiencies were fixed, especially since I started tyrosine and inosine last year. Luckily LDN still works well.

The manuscript of the second Finnish version of my CFS/ME/fibromyalgia treatment book has been finished and has finally found a publisher, a Finnish academic publisher, and will come out later this year. Possibly as early as May, but it might take until the autumn. I guess I should also mention that I will be speaking at the LDN conference in Scotland in April.

P.S. It makes me immensely sad (and kind of angry too) to see people with very well treatable illnesses saying they will never get better. That they don't just believe it, that they "know it".

Living happily ever after

I'm sorry I have neglected this blog. I was supposed to write on my 1-year LDN anniversary, which was two months ago, but I simply haven't had the time. I was working on my CFS/ME/FM treatment book which is now finished, and after that I've worked on the website, the press campaign and other stuff. The book's website is located at http://www.brokenmarionettebook.com.

I've tried some new medications. Thyroxine didn't work and in fact caused loads of side effects. Maybe Armour would have worked better, or maybe I should have taken hydrocortisone at the same time (the morons refused to prescribe it, because "one thing at a time"). On the other hand, there has never been any evidence that I was hypothyroid. :-P

I've been taking undenatured whey since December in hopes that it will eradicate my active HHV-6A infection and any other chronic infections I may have. It seems to have slightly improved my overall condition. Also, it caused some "herx" like symptoms in the beginning and now, if I take licorice which is an antiviral and should work synergistically with the whey, I have the "herx" stuff again. So I'm hoping some microbes are actually being killed. Pentoxifylline didn't seem to do anything for my CFS/ME (probably because I'm already taking piracetam and LDN), but it did help the herx, because it downregulates inflammatory cytokines. But I'm afraid to take it any more, because it can actually worsen cytomegalovirus infections and I might have chronic CMV (and if it aids CMV it might aid HHV-6, too).

I also tried DL-phenylalanine, which is supposed to work as an adjunct to LDN, because it slows down the breakdown of endorphins. It also converts to dopamine to some extent. I didn't notice anything, but maybe I should have taken more than 500 mg a day. Luckily at least one thing I tried works very well for my cognitive dysfunction: nimodipine. It has almost eradicated my brainfog. If I could sleep 12 hours a day I would probably be 95% lucid. If I was religious I'd be singing "Hallelujah God and thanks for the new brain!" So far the medications I've chosen for myself have been great. My doctor was so impressed he prescribed nimodipine for a friend of mine, who seems to have benefited even more than I have.

My life is going incredibly well now, so well that I would have never thought it possible 1.5 years ago. At that time I was extremely disabled, could barely do anything, my brain didn't work and it looked like I would be in wheelchair soon. Now I have a good quality of life despite a variety of annoying symptoms. I moved together with my boyfriend of eight years in March. It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for LDN, and I doubt my book would have been finished either.

Lately I've been thinking perhaps I might even get well some day, maybe not fully well but almost, considering I am closer to being well than being at my worst. On the other hand I am still getting new symptoms or old ones are showing new aspects, like my stomach problems, so it's not likely to happen any time soon. But even if I never get better than this, well, life can still be great. I just wish I would again find a job I could do.

P.S. I didn't get a single cold in the winter, even though my boyfriend had several "killer" ones. I haven't had any bacterial infections either, except for a possible throat infection lately (I don't know what it was, but it was a unilateral lump), which cleared up with oil of oregano and echinacea.